The people who have peeked through the pinhole

to the secrets of the universe

discover there is nothing to fix,

nothing to change.

They experience a peace,

a grounded understanding

that cannot be conceived

until it can be.

These people hold you where you are,

you feel perfect and whole and loved.

Loved as if you've seen the secrets with them,

because they know somewhere inside us all

they are there to be rediscovered.

To be re-awoken.

There is nothing to teach me

and everything I want to learn from them.

This is the higher dimension beyond space and time

that calls me home to remember the truer truths.

It is the other side of suffering

It is the perfection of chaos and the bliss of oneness. 

Although I journey there,

a truer truth is that I am there

and it's only the reawakening

that is called forth in me.

Because you've been where you've been...

Struggled, fallen, crushingly curled around your clenched belly, 

your face contorted and mottled with a cry so deep

that only convulsive guttural sounds could take form...

you may think you are unworthy. Unworthy to be a voice, to be a leader...

that your broken mess disqualifies you amongst the sea of "together game changers".

But the world is broken and it needs leaders that understand intimately this fact.

The world needs your hope and hope doesn't live in a perfectly coiffed life.

Hope lives in the mud and pain of your undoing.

Hope lives in you...

that the world has fallen around your feet and you have risen over and over.

Because we don't need another inspired sports analogy

or an over enthusiastic monologue.

We need you...

real, broken, awkward, true and transparent. Because the idea of being any other way than you causes a subtle retch to wash over you.

The world is done with plastered smiles and talk show voices

because we are haemorrhaging.

Assessing our wounds is a form of triage, this is not a place for USO performers but a place for people willing to get knee deep in it.

White teeth and painted on bronzers are the last gasp of a world that does not want to know itself, masks that are no longer sustainable.

And when the masks come off you will see that all those "together game changers"

were broken too and they will need you to show them how to navigate that vulnerability, how to navigate authenticity.

Your hesitance is actually reverence for the undertaking, which just underscores your qualifications for the task ahead.

Do you see? Your whole life has led to this moment. The world needs you...

now.

❤️Merrily

We can no longer afford to be nice (Nice defined as pleasing, agreeable, polite, socially acceptable)

or angry for that matter.

Men and women cannot solve the imbalance of an over masculinised planet with masculine solutions.

We are all accountable. The divine feminine is not a women's trait, but a human trait just as is the masculine.

Not another second of sacrificing our wisdom to placate or inflame the out of control ego.

The planet desperately needs us to re-embrace the natural state of 

feminine Grace.

Grace is forgiving, compassionate, kind, humane, tender-hearted, sympathetic, patient, tolerant, generous, thoughtful, charitable...

We will find our Grace and empower it with Love.

Anger, righteousness, criticism are all fear quivering underneath a puffed out chest. The ego wants you to be outraged, wants you to believe Love is weak, impotent, soft and fluffy. But it is the surging energy of a mother who summons the strength to lift a car from her trapped child. Love is the fierceness that holds someone so dearly that they will challenging them again and again to be accountable to their highest self. 

It's time and you can feel the roaring force that will not turn back or cower. It all coming out in the open, the putrefying dysfunction of racism, sexism, homophobia, the raping of our resources... Once buried in the shadows, there is no way to avert our gaze one more time. Move into your courage and Grace and formidable power and take back your divine sovereignty to be whole.

You know that past you've been keeping in the back of the closet?

The lies you've got tucked under the bed?

Those secret dreams of changing the world the you've tied up in a silk purse

and keep close to your heart?

Those things that have been pulling to be shared, confessed, lived? 

The more they've pulled, the harder you've hidden them?

Well, the universe has just become your friend with no filter. That friend you trust to love you unconditionally with all your secrets is about to spill the beans.

Why? Because you are loved...

and all that holding in,

the secrets,

the self loathing,

the unfulfilled dreams

are making you sick and small.

You are so loved that you will be gifted with a Holy intervention.

Tough love...

Remember that, when it gets ugly and vulnerable and your ego thinks you're going to die.

When you're scratching at the walls desperate to dive into your chosen addiction,

your chosen escape,

and you can't unlock the door,

remember you are loved wholly and completely.

Right now you can choose to step into that room with the blinding lights of truth,

the stark walls of reality and surrender.

Make peace with yourself over and over.

Or you can wait to be dragged kicking and screaming.

Either way you're going in and you will come out transformed.

-❤️Merrily

Trying to put words to my gifts and I get all Spock about it...

I process complex information, seeing it in 3+-dimensions,

using myself as a neutral third person observer who observes the first observer.

I use, analyse and manipulate the field to shift suffering, create breakthroughs and manifest material and non-materially.

The most humbling and grace fill aspect is when I am directed through the field to serve strangers in a way that would be most closely called kismet.

I am passionate about creating and providing tools that allow people to independently observe, shift and clear their suffering. I have been gifted a large toolbox of skills that I teach, showing people how hack the field.

I also experiment with and design complex frequencies customised to shift specific types of human conditions to higher vibrational states.

Gratitude, to me, is not about being blind to the pain in the world, it about being mindful about the beauty.

Exercising my eyes and ears and heart to notice the gorgeous events unfolding around me.

I am... whole, I am... broken

I am... suffering, I am... bliss 

I am... everything, I am... nothing

I am... human, I am... spirit

I am... singular, I am... all that is

This is the universe

Breathing in... Breathing out...

Through you.

You ARE the universe breathing.

Don't dismiss the inhale,

don't fight the exhale.

To deny the dichotomy is tantamount to holding the breath of the divine flowing through you. Surrendering to the rhythm, is to bring the breath in sync with all that is.

Whether you're consciously aware or not you are infinitely lassoing light waves and manifesting them into particles, into being, with simple intention. Begin to flow with the tragedy and ecstasy, all the fullness and the emptiness that is your spirit embodied.

The breath is synchronicity, and you'll find this is where you can begin to effortlessly tap into your divine Grace. This is where all forms of magic and miracles happen.

Remember all that you are

and

Breathe...

Women and men are naturally being pulled from the gender extremes and converging into beautiful fluidity along the continuum. This is an evolutionary change mirrored in society. There is actually a powerful delineation mark of masculine versus feminine in men between Baby boomers and Gen X. (Men born in or before 1964 versus Men born in or after 1965.)

If you hold tight to the old paradigms your life will draw to you challenges over and over to help you break open.

If you'd like the gentler path. Begin today to question your stories about what it is to be a man. Question your stories about what it is to be a woman. 

Begin to deconstruct the gender caricatures that were passed down. Don't just ask how you hold yourself back, ask how your stories restrict your partner, children, family, society... 

I'm often shocked at the stories ingrained in my history that fall out of my mouth unquestioned. I am so grateful for those that stand up and shout "The emperor is naked" and wake us up to our rote blathering.

I write about things, not because I've master them, but because I'm wrestling with them. Turning them over and looking at them this way and that. Never a place of completion, just lots of mud and questions.

This was the beginning of my journey of enquiry into my life. From attending the very first children's program for EST through Landmark, workshops and finally the revised Landmark Forum. This work reverse engineers your sh*t and leaves you awake to the games we play in life. It opens you to the ability to create your life rather than be a victim of the idea "it's just the way I am". If you're tired of being at the mercy of life and are ready to take responsibility for the way it shows up, then this is a powerful place to begin.

Be forewarned, this is not for the faint of heart. I've seen people's ego hijack their efforts more than once, from an uncontrolled need to sleep through the course, emotional outbursts, anger and even storming out and quitting. Be ready and own what comes up and you will come out the other side truly transformed.

Hello beautiful souls!

I have come out the other side of cancer treatment having cleared out and transformed all kinds of old patterns and crude. A true spiritual journey. I still have a few medical things to sort but I wanted to stop in and thank you all for continuing to visit and share this site. I hope to be shaking up my life this coming year with many new adventures. Looking for fellow tribe mates to collaborate with and ways to give you more direct access to me. Also searching for a base camp in the US to begin to expand workshops to North Americca and Europe.

I hope this message finds you well. I'd love to hear from you.

Much love,

Merrily

ConnectingSouls.com.au

merrily@connectingsouls.com.au

twitter.com/rememberbreathe

facebook.com/ConnectingSouls

Merrily is currently undergoing chemotherapy followed by radiation to treat breast cancer. She will be taking a break from most work through to October of this year. She will do some updates on her Facebook page. She sends heaps of love to you all. 

A woman lay in a meadow gazing up into the evening heavens whispering wishes into the darkness. Tentatively she asked "Star, come and feel the moist soft grass with me?"

The star answered. "I am..."

The woman said "Star, come and feel cool gentle breeze with me?"

The star answered "I am..."

The woman said "Star, come and listen to the crickets and owls and sounds of night?"

The star answered "I am..."

The woman frustrate said, "But you're not! You are millions upon millions of miles away and I am alone and lonely, come and share the night with me."

The star only responded "I am..."

Angry the woman grab a rock and threw it towards the night sky. She paused then heard a soft thud as the stone landed in the darkness echoing her sense of isolation.

Feeling denied her wishes, the grass felt wet, the breeze was now cold and the sounds of the night were jarring and harsh.

She felt miserable and abandoned. The night had been beautiful within the hope of sharing it.

It was in the thought of loss and separation that it change.

One last time she pleaded to the star "Please join me?"

The star then answered "I am... I am a part of you, in every essence you are made from me, before your imagined beginning to beyond your imagined end I am with you... I am in the grass and the breeze and in the heart of the sounds of the night...

and you are in me.

You were never alone, it's only your thoughts that have made it so.

The woman felt her skin tingle. She began to be aware she was vibrating, a high singing vibration that made her feel weightless, almost transparent. As the resonation grew it was if the whole universe was collapsing into a single singing bubble around her.

Everything was vibrating through her, in her, like cords in a vast symphony.... the grass, the breeze, every flutter, every movement. Deserts and oceans, mountains and streams, the stars, the moon, galaxy upon galaxy... All within her reach. She saw herself in it all and all of it inside her.

She slowly rose as if in a dream, her eyes wet with tears. Her heart was so full that it overflowed into every essence of her being. She felt every atom dancing... there was no beginning and no end. Like starlight, she was beaming a soft gentle glow. She did not speak but only raised her face to the heavens and breathed in the night air. She was bathed in starlight and it danced within the reflection in her eyes. If you looked closely, there you would find universe upon universe inside her.

Most people would look at it, pick it up with two fingers and toss it in the bin.

Other pillows think they know what I need, what makes me happy, but they fail... trying to be what they think they should be, trying to be the perfect pillow.

Let's all get comfy in our case and let go, let our little fibers and feathers move and shift... not be afraid to show our lumps and bumps and fit with the one we're with.

Then maybe we can stop trying to be the perfect pillow and just be...

Maybe we'll find the simple snuggly heavy sigh happiness me and my lumpy old love have found.

...I read energy and emotions. 

Both earthly and ethereal souls hold these as shifting signatures of their spirit.

These two things are imprinted with multiple characteristics, like fingerprints.

People inadvertently give their energy to others, objects, even their name and I can read them and their imprint on any of these things.

This information comes through as images, sound, emotions and physical sensations.

They show me personalities, emotions, physical features, illness, motives, mannerism and probabilities. I can see what they show the world and what lies within.

I can interact and follow these energies like threads on a web.

Following them backwards as time folds to connect me to a specific place or origins of a behavior or forward to probably futures.

I can introduce ideas and shift and work with a person's energy to see how and where it opens or closes.

I can connect two or more people's energies together and read them as they shift.

Like musical instruments resonating, there is a infinite combination of complimenting and contrasting combinations.

All of this is done with the guidance of a divine grace and I humbly understand that I am there to follow where I am lead.

This gift works within the parameters of free will.

I am not allowed to know what someone wishes not to be know and I cannot shift someone's energy the wishes for it to not be shifted.

We confuse weakness and vulnerability all the time.

Weakness happens when you give your power away.

Vulnerability is when you stand in your power 

and allow yourself to be seen for who you truly are...

It can be scary

but being vulnerable is an extremely

powerful and empowering place.

You are the bravest person you know.

I know you don't believe me...

Whether you are soaring over mountains or buried in a hole.

You are the bravest person you know.

No one can completely understand what it's taken for you to get to this moment in life,

but your courage is just that, yours...

Powerful

Amazing

Patient

You are heroic.

I love authentic people.

I love people who do not craft their words to their best advantage

but let their words spill from their lips and their heart.

Full of ums, ahs and searching eyes or racing and fumbling with the urgency of a story to share.

When they speak I can see right into their eyes and down to their soul and I know them.

These people are gorgeous and fallable and perfectly human

 and I can't help falling in love with their hearts everytime.

If we surround ourselves with people who think just like us, atrophy sets in.

We close tighter and tighter around shared beliefs

and people outside those beliefs become a threat.

We cement stories of right and wrong,

good and bad until those stories become our reality.

We are left unchallenged

and divided

from the infinite combinations of beliefs and ideas held by our diverse world.

Plunking me on top of the fridge as a child…
he showed me a change of perspective is profound
and a little risk is good.

Racing around on all fours through the house,
his growls drowned out by his little girl’s giggles,
he taught me that having fun
is more important than looking good. 

Answering my questions with part of the answer,
then asking me a question back,
he made me think critically,
take ownership of my learning
and experience the success of my own discovery.

Dad always wanted to make it better.
He would visit my home and the first order of business was “What needs fixin’”.
From the best way to roll a garden hose, to what to use on a squeaky door,
he didn’t just want it fixed.
He wanted you to learn how...

just in case…
he wasn’t around…
he’d know you’d be okay.

He needed to share his loves.
Heck, he just needed to share anything and everything that was exciting to him. 
And new things popped up every day.

He would “suggest” you read an article in Aviation Weekly.
If you did not read it then and there,
you would elicit a glimmer of dejection and a hint of a pout.

He shared his smoked rib recipe…
along with a new smoker
and
the correct wood chips
so you could make them right away.

A particularly good Hagar the Horrible comic strip would be passed over to you with a boyish smile
and a chuckle
as he watched in sincere anticipation of your laughter.

Over the years he fed the fish in the lake for a week in advance of a visit
then contently relished the squeals of delight as his grandchildren caught fish after fish.

He loved to share his joy.
He just loved to love.
It shone out of him like a warm reassuring sunbeam.
That's why his mother called him Sunny. Because he was a ray of sunshine.

There is no question that he lives on through me. 
His lessons, his loves,
are now my lessons, my loves.
Laughing with my children until we cry,
singing off key at the top of our lungs, making silly faces…
All are Poppy living through us.

I believe he is still here with me now,
and he has a knowing…
a peace… 
a glimpse of something that eluded him in life…

I am safe,
I am protected,
I listened
and I carry him with me always.

One day in my early 20's I was visiting with my mother and as scheduled I pulled up the "blame train" and started to unload onto her all the reason I felt she had failed me in my childhood. It was thick with anger and resentment. The usual ritual was that she would apologize and I would be indignant.

But this day was different and her words would free me and humble me to my core.

She took an exasperated breath,
paused
and then spoke to me gently.

"Love, if I could go back and do it all differently I would...
but all I can tell you is this 

I did the best I could,

with what I knew,

at the time."

And it was true

she had...

I could see it all.

The love,

the sacrifice,

the heartache.

She was beautiful and perfectly human and she had loved me with everything she had...

Sometimes people's stories about you are so big that there is no room left for you in them.

It's like standing in front of a huge movie screen waving your arms and all they see is a small distortion in their projection.

When you let go of trying to be seen,

to correct their mistaken view of who you are,

it makes room for you to just be...

You.

And you draw into your life people who see and love you exactly the way you are.

I love the fallibility of our humanness.

Insecurity is a precious sign of vulnerability.

But I have no patience for head games.

They exhaust me.

I have no interest in being pulled into them.

I will not return a serve or counter a volley.

You will find the other side of the net empty except a racquet that was never picked up.

I will love you enough not to play.

My parents told me I could be anything, 
do anything. 
So I never picked a box, you know the box, "if I do this job, I wear these clothes, have these friends, drive this car, live in this house, in this part of town, say these things ..." 

I think lots of people are being "not a box", it's made us an amalgamation or like a disco ball, 
depending on where you stand you might think I am 
rich, poor, 
humble, arrogant,

conservative, liberal,

rebellious or conforming... 
But I'm not any. 
The best you can find is a reflection of your own beliefs, values and assumption. 
So enjoy the reflection, check your profile, fix your hair and ask yourself if who you're looking at is you, or a story box version of you.

When we desperately attempt to achieve something,

it's like trying to push happiness through the head of a needle.

When we try and control everything,

as we do when we're afraid,

it leaves us with the world resisting.

When we finally surrender and trust

(this usually happens for me frustrated and crying in the shower)

the world opens up, embraces our desires and miracles happen.

Breathe out the anger, the resentment, the pain, the paralysis...

Breathe out all the crap that has accumulated over your years. The crap that is so deep that you are more a human-reacting, a human-recoiling than a human-being.

Breathe out in forgiveness to release and uncover yourself. Forgive your mother, forgive your father, forgive your siblings, your partner, your children, your boss, yourself.

It doesn't matter who was right or wrong. If it hurt, if you resented it, if it stifled you... forgive it, forgive them and forgive yourself.

Forgive the past and forgive the future that will never be or the future you think you have but don't want. Forgive your guilt for being happy when others can't be.

Breathe out and forgive till it hurts. Keep breathing out and forgiving until there is no pain, no grief left.

Then you will see them,

your mother,

your father,

your siblings,

your partner,

your children,

your boss

....Just them.

 

And you will see yourself.

The cycles disengage. The patterns are broken. Your ears will hear just the words from their lips without the stories you projected onto them. Your voice will speak it's truth without being choked by history and wounds. Life will change and you will be a ripple in a pond that changes the inheritance of the world.

When someone leans in close

to whisper a bit of gossip

or to complain about this or that...

 

They’re telling you a story.

A story of

their wounds,

their fears,

of little things they dislike about themselves

but have yet to see.

 

Their whispers say...

Don't see me,

look away,

I am not enough...

 

In these moments my heart aches

and I’m filled with empathy and compassion.

I do not hear gossip

or complaining

 

only cries to be loved…

Maybe you're "homeless" and you don't even know it. 

When events in our lives shatter our foundation we can unconsciously feel our bodies are no longer a safe place. 

This can happen in one earth shaking moment or it can be an insidiously slow barrage on our spirit.

We can end up living an "out of body" experience and not even realize it.

I've been "homeless" my whole life.

I have never been settle,

I've always been searching.

But as I put my shatter pieces back together I found that

everywhere I looked, I was already home

every friend I made was already family.

It was never the wrong place

or the wrong time

or the wrong person.

It was only that I had lost my way home...

to me.

The Future - Variable

As a psychic, people come to me to clarify their future. Curiosity, concern and/or hope can drive their questions. What I always tell them is that the future can be a variable, which has it's pros and cons. The downside is what you expect, want, rely on, can change. On the upside you can change your future. Back to the downside, you change your future.

For example, a dear friend ask me to look for a man somewhere in her life soon. Following her thread into a possible future I saw her and a man. I could feel mutual respect and attraction, connectedness, kindness… it was lovely. As I began to describe what I saw and felt she interrupted me with concern and asked “Is he tall? He needs to be tall. I can’t be with a short man.” I looked and told her he wasn’t extremely tall, but average height. As I continued she interrupted again and asked “Is he young, old or my age?” I said “He is younger”. Concerned again, she said “I can’t do younger men. He will just leave me for a younger woman.” As she spoke the connection I had to this future soften, became more transparent. I started to speak again and she quickly asked “Do we get married?” I said “No, but you are both very happy” She began to explain that she’d have to get married… but this time I interrupted her. “He’s gone.” I said “that future is no longer there…” She had unknowing wiped it away with conditions and concerns. Gripping the outcome so tightly that there was no room for it to bloom or breathe. We have all done this in our lives. We can either open our future with love or box it in with fear. This is the law of attraction at it’s basic. People’s futures can literally shift and change as I pre-count it to them, all created in the now.

The Future – Fixed

But my experience has taught me that there are strong checkpoints mapped out in our lives that we will cross no matter our attitude. Another friend was in the first stages of separating from her partner. She asked if I could see where she might live. I followed her thread and found myself in a room overlooking the ocean on a beautiful beach called Cuttagee. She told me that there was no way she could ever afford to live there. I looked again… nothing had changed. I assured her that I saw her living there but her disbelief was tangible. A few weeks later she rang me, her voice upbeat, almost giddy. She told me she was having a party and she wanted me to drive up and come… She said she was talking to me from her new place! She told me she was standing at her window looking out at Cutagee Beach. I was covered in goosebumps. She explained that wealthy friends owned the home and had offered her the opportunity to live there while they put it on the market to sell. This future was set, whether she believed or not. The reason, she may never know. Her thread had to cross this point as part of her journey. I find we can sometimes affect these points, shifting them closer or further but they inevitably come, they are the part of our lives that are destined.

The Future That Must be Lived

Finally my experience has also taught me that there are things we just don’t get to know. When seeking the answers to some questions I am met with the energetic equivalent of a brick wall or diversions down rabbit holes. To know would change the experience, it would corrupt the purpose of living it,

living out concern, 

living out curiosity, 

living out hope...  

As soon as I arrived I had a distinct repeating image of something big black and round and Lightening was behind it. I was also overwhelmingly drawn to one place on the property, a camper where my friend's property mate was napping with her baby. While they slept we had a peek around the obvious places but it was the camper that I had to go visit. They assured me it couldn't be in there but all my intuition was pointing with flashing neon signs "The Camper". When we checked inside... Nothing. This is where I unwittingly started to doubt my intuition and began to lean on logic.

With psychic and mediumship work I use intuition with a sprinkle of logic, it's okay to text logic, even called it for a quick chat but whatever you do, don't go visit. I didn't realize it then but I not only visited logic, I'd sat down to have a cup of tea. My logic decided Lightening must be behind a big black round pillow. I held so tightly to this idea that when my intuition lead me through undergrowth and bramble out into the bush directly to a big black tire (with no Lightening to be found). I took this as the universe having a bit of a joke with me. It was big and black and round. Ha ha very funny I thought.

At this point I was frustrated and to be honest, embarrassed. My spirit had given up but my ego kept searching for another 40 minutes to no avail. The family had been generous and understanding. I apologized deeply, gutted I had not been able to locate this beloved doll. Driving home I questioned my skills and wondered what the hell I was thinking taking on such a huge task. I had raised this family's hopes and let a little girl down.

My sense of failure clung to me in the days to follow. But when my caller id identified my friend ringing my heart jumped. The best case scenario I could imagine was that the doll was found, but still, I had wasted their time. The story she told me humbled me and sent goosebumps from my head to my toes. The doll HAD been found. I was given all the right clues. I had just been too locked into one idea to see it. Lightening was discovered underneath that very camper and she was behind a tire... A big black tire. I was blown away. In hindsight it was all so obvious. Lighten was reunited with her little girl and the world was right once again.

The signs are there in our lives, miraculous signs, helping us, showing us the way. But it requires us to step outside our box, outside our fear and trust our intuition in the face of failure, embarrassment, looking ridiculous... The universe is doing everything it can to help us. The gifts are worth the risk. If we can just get out of our own way. 

For those who have dined with me you know my history is full of caffeine, sugar, butter, bread and bacon grease. But since gluten has betrayed me and dairy has forsaken me, I've actually started to be drawn to raw food.

Really, I know, seriously... 

All of these recipes floating around facebook of rich decadent raw chocolate cakes, raw organic "cheese"cakes etc. So I'm thinking I can have my cake and eat it too. God bless the gourmand that demanded some guilty pleasure scatter amongst the lettuce and celery.

So I've gathered ingredients and dipped my fingers into the raw and naked side of food. Blindfolded and swinging a Magic Bullet I have actually concocted two yummy and (shockingly) tummy filling creations.

(In my mind tiny vegetarians are giving me a standing ovation.)

So here they are 

The shredded carrot, chopped sun dried cherry, ground raw cashew and ginger salad

&

The banana, raw cashew, oat, coconut oil, Manuka honey, soy milk smoothie*

I considered thinking of sassy shorter monikers for these two but I though everyone else would have more fun naming them. So please throw about some funky fun recipe names. (I really wanted to follow that sentence with FOOD FIGHT! but that would be cheesy, raw cheesy of course)

The measurements are precise and calculated to the .00001 of something. They consist of spoonfuls & handfuls and tweaking & tasting. Not sure what's next on my list of raw recipes to try, but I open to suggestions.

 So my future is appearing gorgeously raw. Looking forward to the day I can choose from a variety of raw food restaurants and no one will have to slave over a hot stove.

*My soy milk was not raw but I hear you can get some if you know someone who knows someone.

Welcome

Here you will find the things close to my heart 

whether it's food, life, ideas, people, places...

they all have the common threads of passion, authenticity and love.

Much love, 

Merrily